A man with a nickel,
A sword, and a sickle,
A pipe, and a paper of pins
Set out for the Niger
To capture a tiger
And that’s how my story begins.
When he saw the wide ocean,
He soon took a notion
’T would be nicer to stay with his friends.
So he traded his hat
For a tortoise-shell cat
And that’s how the chronicle ends.
A Beetle Once Sat On A Barberry Twig
A beetle once sat on a barberry twig,
And turned at the crank of a thingum-a-jig.
Needles for hornets, nippers for ants,
For the bumblebee baby a new pair of pants,
For the grizzled old gopher a hat and a wig,
The beetle ground out of his thingum-a-jig.
Tibbitts and Bibbitts and Solomon Sly
Ran off one day with a cucumber pie.
Tibbitts was tossed by a Kensington cow,
Bibbitts was hanged on a brambleweed bough,
And poor little Solomon-what do you think?
Was drowned one dark night in a bottle of ink.
Upon The Irish Sea
Some one told Maria Ann,
Maria Ann told me,
That kittens ride in coffee cans
Upon the Irish Sea.
From quiet caves to rolling waves,
How jolly it must be
To travel in a coffee can
Upon the Irish Sea!
But when it snows and when it blows,
How would you like to be
A kitten in a coffee can
Upon the Irish Sea?
Duckle, duckle, daisy,
Martha must be crazy,
She went and made a Christmas cake
Of olive oil and gluten-flake,
And set it in the sink to bake,
Duckle, duckle, daisy.
I’ve Got A New Book
I’ve got a new book from my Grandfather Hyde.
It’s skin on the cover and paper inside,
And reads about Arabs and horses and slaves,
And tells how the Caliph of Bagdad behaves.
I’d not take a goat and a dollar beside
For the book that I got from my Grandfather Hyde.
The Carrot and The Rabbit
A carrot in a garden
And a rabbit in the wood.
Said the rabbit, “Beg your pardon,
But you’re surely meant for food;
Though you’ve started in to harden,
You may still be very good.”
Hippy-Hi-Hoppy, the big fat toad,
Greeted his friends at a turn of the road.
Said he to the snail:
“Here’s a ring for your tail
If you’ll go into town for my afternoon mail.”
Said he to the rat:
“I have talked with the cat;
And she’ll nab you so quick you won’t know where you’re at.”
Said he to the lizard:
“I’m really no wizard,But I’ll show you a trick that will tickle your gizzard.”
Said he to the lark:
“When it gets fairly dark
We’ll chase the mosquitoes in Peek-a-Boo Park.”
Said he to the owl:
“If it were not for your scowl
I’d like you as well as most any wild fowl.”
Said he to the wren:
“You’re tiny, but then
I’ll marry you quick, if you’ll only say when.”
Up On The Garden Gate
Set me up on the garden gate
And put on my Sunday tie;
I want to be there
With a round-eyed stare
When the circus band goes by.
Give me a bag of suckerettes
And give me a piece of gum,
Then I’ll get down
And treat the clown,
And give the monkey some.
‘Most Any Chip
’Most any chip
Will do for a ship,
If only the cargo be
From the beautiful land
Of far-off Arcady.
For faith will waft
The tiny craft
O’er Fancy’s shining sea.
A Moon Song
Who hung his hat on the moon?
The owl in his bubble balloon.
One bright summer night
He sailed out of sight,
And, hooting like Lucifer, hung in delight
His three-cornered hat on the moon.
What Makes You Laugh?
“What makes you laugh, my little lass,
From morning until noon?”
“I saw a dappled donkey
Throwing kisses at the moon.”
“What makes you cry, my little lass,
And get your eyes so red?”
“I saw a cruel gardener cut
A poor old cabbage head.”
“What makes you run, my little lass?
You’re almost out of breath.”
“A pumpkin made a face at me,
And scared me half to death.”
When Timmy O’Toole
Was going to school
He picked up a package of gum.
He treated the preacher
And Sunday-school teacher,
And gave a policeman some.
A MAn Came From Malden
A man came from Malden to buy a blue goose.
And what became of the gander?
He went and got tipsy on blackberry juice,
And that was the end of the gander.
The mighty baron, Batteroff,
Raised a whale in a watering trough.
When the whale grew large and fat
He ate the baron’s brindle cat.
But pussy, once inside the whale,
Began to tickle with her tail.
This the monster could not stand,
And spewed her out upon dry land.
That night, when all was fine as silk
And she had supped her bread and milk,
She grinned and told old Batteroff
How she got the whale to cough.
Six Little Salmon
I sing a funny song from away out west,
Of six little salmon with their hats on;
How they all left home-but I forget the rest
The six little salmon with their hats on.
To Garry On The Toot-Toot
Sit on my chin,
Your wings are like tinsel,
So yellow and thin.
Give me a kiss;
If you give me a dozen
There’s nothing amiss.
Off to the flowers,—
Wee, soulless sprite
Of the long summer hours.
Bobbin rode a rocking-horse
’Way down to Doubbledoon,
He told his little sister
He’d be back that afternoon.
But maybe after all she didn’t
Understand him right,
For he wasn’t back again
Till the middle of the night.
And what did little Bobbin see
’Way down at Doubbledoon?
He saw a crazy Arab
Throwing bubbles at the moon,
A monkey making faces
And a rabbit in a rage,
A parrot shouting “Murder!”
From the ceiling of his cage.
At last a yellow jumping-jack,
A camel, and a coon,
Chased poor little Bobbin
All the way from Doubbledoon.
For other interesting poems and rhymes, go to: http://mocomi.com/fun/poems/