Every parent wants their child to be judged on their merits and abilities outside of performing academically. Standardised testing methods can be inconclusive and may not correctly or appropriately assess children. What a child can do outside of academics is sadly very rarely looked at during assessments. However, the sad truth is that a majority of schools and academic institutions follow these methods of standardised testing and as a result, most report cards only reflect these grades.
Grades can cause a great sense of anxiety in children and their parents and it's good to go with a game plan in mind when talking to their teachers. Don't wait till report card time to talk to your child about grades, stepping in right at the end makes no sense. This should ideally be a conversation which is had through the course of the year. Being a proactive part of your child's studies through the year and playing an active role in ensuring they understand their study matter is much smarter than reacting to the grades at the end of the year. "Be proactive, not reactive!" is a simple mantra to follow in this scenario. It results in your children feeling less stressed about their grades and also feeling more supported by their parents.
It's easier said than done – separating your child from their grades. Parents have to remember that there is so much more to your child than just their grades. It does not define their extracurricular aptitude, emotional aptitude or so many other qualities that make them amazing. It is important to remain calm and realize that grades only reflect the school and standardized testing's idea of what is smart. It does not measure your child's creativity, emotional quotient, integrity or a variety of other awesome qualities.
Focus on finding a solution with your child. There is no point is deciding on a solution on your own and then imposing it on your child. They have a say in what changes they should be making in their own lives. As their parent, it is important to bring solutions and not complaints to the table. Listen more and talk less – allow your child an opportunity to explain what isn't working for them and the changes THEY need to implement. Studying techniques that worked for you in school may not necessarily be the ones that work for them.
Lastly, remember that your role as a parent is to provide love and support above all else. Bad grades shouldn't make your child feel isolated or alone.
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