There was a young person of Bantry,
Who frequently slept in the pantry;
When disturbed by the mice, she appeased them with rice,
That judicious young person of Bantry.
There was an old man whose remorse
Induced him to drink Caper Sauce;
For they said, “If mixed up with some cold claret-cup,
It will certainly soothe your remorse!”
There was an old person of Minety,
Who purchased five hundred and ninety
Large apples and pears,
which he threw unawares
At the heads of the people of Minety.
There was an old man of Thermopylae,
Who never did anything properly;
But they said, “If you choose to boil eggs in your shoes,
You shall never remain in Thermopylae.”
There was an old person of Deal,
Who in walking used only his heel;
When they said, “Tell us why?” he made no reply,
That mysterious old person of Deal.
There was an old man on the Humber,
Who dined on a cake of Burnt Umber;
When he said, “It’s enough!” they only said,”Stuff!
You amazing old man on the Humber!”
There was an old man in a barge,
Whose nose was exceedingly large;
But in fishing by night, it supported a light,
Which helped that old man in a barge.
There was an old man of Dunrose;
A parrot seized hold of his nose.
When he grew melancholy, they said, “His name’s Polly,”
Which soothed that old man of Dunrose.
There was an old man of Toulouse
Who purchased a new pair of shoes;
When they asked, “Are they pleasant?” he
said, “Not at present!”
That turbid old man of Toulouse.
There was an old person of Bree,
Who frequented the depths of the sea;
She nurs’d the small fishes, and washed all the dishes,
And swam back again into Bree.
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